Fake News

Unless this is your first time using the internet (and if it is, what the hell are you doing here?) you've probably seen them, those ads for mobile games featuring "real" gameplay that is frustratingly terrible. A German ad council has determined that these advertisements are causing internet users such signficant distress that they have been outlawed, and the developers must reimburse the country and citizens, with a price tag that roughly equates to half a million in US dollars, and urging other countries to do the same.  A representative from the ad council claims the institution has been in contact with developers for years, adding that the correspondences were originally quite tame but have escalated on both ends ever since the ad council hired "that asshole Jim," an employee who will remain anonymous, to write emails. When asked for further details, the representative responded something we never bothered to translate, but he sounded really scary when he said it.  After receiving a record-breaking number of complaints, the ad council has determined that the content found in these types of ads is so spectacularly terrible it falls into the category of false advertisement. Citing the importance of including relevant information in ads, the official statement from the German government is increasing the penalty of creating these ads, including such extremes as sentencing violators to multiple 15 minute audio sessions of several overlapping Elmo laugh tracks. Going forward, developers must include proof that a failing player in a mobile ad is either a "mega-noob," a literal child, or both.